


The Truth Behind it All

by zaubernuss



Series: Netherfairies and Gloomilows [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore - Freeform, Blood Bond, Elder Wand, Friendship, Gen, Godric's Hollow, Halloween, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Horcruxes, Lily & James Potter, Mentor/Protégé, Post-War, Sacrificial protection, Seventh year, voldemort - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28161030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaubernuss/pseuds/zaubernuss
Summary: The war is over. When Christmas comes, Harry gets the chance to talk to Severus and ask him all the questions that were left unanswered – about the fateful Halloween night his parents died, the events that led to their murder and about what happened to Voldemort after that. All the nagging plot holes finally explained! Could be canon, except for epilogue.Although this works perfectly fine as a stand-alone, this story is actually part of the series Netherfairies and Gloomilows. In that, Severus and Hermione are developping a romantic relationship, which is mentioned in this story.
Series: Netherfairies and Gloomilows [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594510
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. The Death Eater, the Maiden and the Prophesy

_As brilliant as the Harry Potter books doubtlessly are, there are unfortunately quite a few missing pieces of information which seem to be plot-holes in the books. The main focus of this story is on finding anwers to all of the nagging questions that remained. (For details, see footnote, please)_

* * *

**The Death Eater, the Maiden and the Prophesy**

If somebody had told him last year that he would be visiting his parents' grave with the former Death Eater, Order-Spy and most hated teacher, Harry would have seriously questioned that person's sanity. But a year ago, he had been oblivious of many things, such as the fact that Severus Snape had been friends with his mother, that he had always been on the side of the Light and that he had protected Harry throughout all his Hogwarts years. Neither had he known that Snape – Severus – was his second godfather.  
**  
** This was probably the most startling secret that had been revealed to him only a month ago – by the Potion Master himself, no less. From what Harry understood, it was Hermione who had somehow convinced him to talk to Harry and try and mend their truly rotten relationship. Though how exactly Hermione had come to know about it and how she had managed to persuade the unapproachable man to actually approach him remained a secret.

Hermione had been made some kind of assistant to the Potions Master lately, and spent a lot of her free time brewing for the hospital wing since then. Quite unmistakably, she had developed an agreeable working relationship with their acerbic professor – agreeable even to the extent that he apparently would listen to her counsel. Another thing that would have been impossible to imagine only half a year ago. Well, to be entirely honest, it still was.

But although Harry couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the new relationship between his friend and their professor than both let on, he found himself rather grateful for it. Once the first step towards reconciliation between both former arch enemies had been made, others had followed. Baby steps, yes, but it was progress no less. And then Harry had made a huge leap, when he had invited his newfound godfather to spent Christmas at Grimmauld Place with him and some of his closest friends, among who – wonders never ceased – he also now counted Draco Malfoy. It surely had been an equally huge leap for Severus when he accepted the invitation.

So far, the holidays had been surprisingly harmonious. Severus had given Harry the most meaningful present he had ever received for Christmas: vials upon vials containing memories of his mother. It had almost made him cry. It was in this sentimental mood that he had quite spontaneously asked his mother's former best friend to accompany him to Godric's Hollow on Boxing Day.

He had initially intended to come back here with Hermione. After their disastrous visit last year, he felt that they both needed closure. Apart from Nagini's attack right after their visit to the graveyard, coming here to honour his parents' memory had brought him some form of peace, and Harry intended to make this his new Christmas tradition. But Hermione had blanched at the idea. She still had nightmares of the attack and no desire to face her demons. Harry had been resigned to go by himself, but after Severus so willingly shared his memories of his mother with him, the idea to ask him along for company had seemed the right thing to do.

After a moment of hesitation, his mother's childhood friend had agreed, and Harry found himself grateful for the company. Though this place was no more haunted for him than the graveyard in Little Haggleton, the chamber of secrets in Hogwarts or certain places in Britain's forests, it was still a bit unsettling to be back here. But he couldn't allow the ghost of Voldemort to dwell in the village where his parents had lived and now rested – a place that should only hold memories of them.

They were even literally cast in stone on the market square. For Muggles, it was a war memorial. But for wizards, it honoured three people who had fallen in an altogether different war – the last victims and defeaters of the Dark Lord.

Under a Disillusionment-charm, Severus and Harry apparated to the little church square in the heart of Godric's Hollow. They didn't want to startle any Muggles with their sudden appearance, and the likelihood for that was great. The village church would probably be highly frequented on Christmas, and they had no idea at what time services were held. But they had obviously arrived at a good time – service was in progress; the church portal closed. Thanks to the cold and rainy weather, no one was out in the street.

They removed the disillusionment charm and looked around. Everything was just like Harry remembered from his last visit, except that this time, they had arrived in daylight. The pub and the post office were both closed for the holidays. On their left, just a few paces ahead of them, was the war memorial. Harry knew what to expect when he and Severus passed on their way to the churchyard. It transformed when they were right beside it, and instead of the Obelisk, they saw a statue of three people – a man, a woman, and a baby.

Severus stopped dead in his tracks, clearly startled. "I've never seen this before..." he said, surprise in his voice. "I didn't even know they had erected a monument to serve as a reminder of the murder committed here..."

"Neither did I," Harry said. "Until we came by it, last year. It's weird, seeing them cast in stone. Seeing a memorial dedicated to myself as a baby."

A trace of his Potion Professor's derision crept back into his voice as he sneered: "What can you do – you were born a hero."

"It's not something I ever asked for, you know?" Harry retorted a bit testily. "Contrary to what you always thought, I never enjoyed being a celebrity for surviving the murder of my family."

Severus looked at the involuntary hero of the wizarding world and sobered. He was being unfair again. The boy certainly was not to blame for the role that had been forced upon him. "You're right," he conceded, surprising Harry and himself with his almost-apology. "Your fame was predestined with the prophesy. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord... marked as his equal'... You were to become an icon of hope when Dumbledore's warnings came true and the Dark Lord returned. It was supposed to secure you the support of the wizarding public. Dumbledore doubtlessly hoped that putting you in with a Muggle family like the Dursleys would assure at the same time that all this hero worship wouldn't reach you and go to your head."

Harry snorted. "Well, I guess that plan worked perfectly! At no time was I in danger of becoming bigheaded or feeling important while living with them."

Again, Severus experienced an unexpected surge of remorse and sympathy for the Boy who lived, but who certainly paid a high price for his survival. He had known Petunia, after all. Though he doubted that she or her caricarture of a husband had been physically abusive like his own father, he knew that cruelty was not limited to beatings. No, Harry's childhood had certainly not been a walk in the park, and yet he had never given a second thought to the circumstances of his upbringing. He couldn't have allowed himself to care.

They left the memorial behind and walked over to the kissing gate next to the church, which marked the entrance to the graveyard. This time, Harry knew where to find the grave of his parents and lead the way.

"There," he needlessly said when they stopped in front of the moss-covered tombstone. Without the decorative cover of pristine snow, it looked even more triste and sombre than it had last year. But the snow had been an exception, doubtlessly due to rogue Dementors roaming the country and upsetting the weather. It hardly ever snowed here in the South-West.

Severus stepped next to him, looking at Lily's grave for the first time ever. He'd been wondering what kind of feelings standing here would evoke; worrying that it might open up wounds he wasn't sure had entirely healed; fearing the resurfacing of memories that would bring it all back.

But the moment ebbed away without a surge of emotion. He didn't feel anything he hadn't felt all the while before whenever he thought of Lily: lingering traces of guilt, regret, and sadness. When she died, he had lost the only person he had ever counted as friend. If there had been chances to make new friends along the way, he had let them pass without notice. Minerva, for instance. Beneath the competition they had going between their houses, despite their constant bickering, she had always treated him decently. Last year, he had no doubt of that, she would have stood beside him and lent support – if he had let her. But he had never opened up to her.

There was no shortage of people who had extended a hand to him. His aunt Noria and Irma, even the werewolf. As a student, Severus had despised him for being one of the Marauders and a coward, but since then, over twenty years had passed. It probably wasn't fair to hold his actions as an adolescent against him after all this time. He had definitely not been a coward in their fight against the Dark Lord, and he had paid a high price for it. It was a bit hypocritical, Severus had to admit, to continue blaming him for being a sycophant, when he himself had spent half of his life licking the boots of his 'master'. Unfortunately, he also had a tendency to carry grudges. He had no real desire to make friends with Lupin, but there was no doubt that the werewolf would happily accept an olive branch if Severus were inclined to offer it and try for anything more than collegial acceptance.

And then there was Hermione of course, who had repeatedly and most fervently voiced her interest in – associating with him. He still didn't dare call it 'romantic interest', though there was no denying the facts. But he needed to keep his head straight, as difficult as it was around the determined witch. Thanks to her, he could now add Harry to the list of people who wanted to redefine the boundaries of their established relationship. Harry, who wanted him to be here and share his memories of his mother with him. Who was so blunt in his attempts to make amends that it almost hurt. The boy was desperate for a new beginning in their messed-up relationship. Merlin knew why it was so important to him.

There was potential for friendship, even for a misanthrope like him – if he allowed people to approach him. The question was if he dared to accept what they offered. Friendship came with expectations and commitment, and meant opening oneself up for hurt, heartbreak and disappointment. He'd known that ever since he had called the woman at whose grave he was standing a mudblood. He had first lost her friendship, then Lily herself. Such a bitter loss.

Severus pulled out his wand and conjured a wreath, unaware of how much his gesture mirrored that of Hermione, who had done the same last year. It was a wreath of evergreens and white lilies, beautiful in it's simplicity. He briefly thought of adding a ribbon inscription, but desisted. He didn't really know what to say. 'Sorry' didn't even cover the basics, even if regret was the predominant feeling whenever he thought of her. He was sorry that she was dead, sorry for being partly responsible for the fact, sorry for having fulfilled his promise only by the letter, but never with his heart. Sorry for having lost her friendship, and sorry for the fact that she hadn't been able to love him the way he had loved her, a long time ago. But saying 'sorry' for acts that were more profound than accidentally bumping into someone was something he just couldn't do. The worse the offence, the less adequate he felt those words of apology to be.

He probably could have used the word for a ribbon inscription that he had once used with Albus: 'Always'. For he would always remember Lily, always miss her, and always carry these regrets. But he was afraid that Harry might misunderstand such a dedication. Albus surely had, believing that Severus was still pining over her. Severus had not made the effort to correct him. The only person he had felt the need to explain himself to had been Hermione.

Harry reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a floral arrangement that he had put together with Hermione's help earlier, and enlarged it again. He wasn't particularly good at conjuring, and even less talented at arranging flowers. Befitting the season, his wreath had fir and Christmas roses, amarillys and ivy. It didn't have an inscription, either. He put the wreath beside Severus' smaller one, looking solemn. For a moment, they remained standing there in silence, each lost in his own thoughts and memories.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" Harry asked then.

"Go for a walk?" Severus echoed dubiously. A rather peculiar request.

Harry blushed. "I thought we could talk..." he said, and launched into a rushed explanation, as if he wanted to get it all out before Severus could hex him. "Without the others, I mean. About my mum and about what happened that night. I really don't meant to pry, and if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, I understand. It's just that there is so much I don't understand, and I don't know who else to ask..."

"Breathe, Potter!" Severus commanded, shaking his head. People always talked to him as if they expected him to tear their heads off. Except Hermione, who didn't seem to have such concerns. Maybe word had not gotten out that, contrary to public opinion, he didn't eat children.

He sighed. It's not as if wasn't used to being asked all kinds of nosy questions lately. "You may ask, but I reserve the right not to answer," he conceded.

"Fair enough," Harry said, who could hardly believe his luck. He hadn't really expected his tight-lipped teacher to agree. He turned towards the northern exit of the graveyard, which led onto a small, bordering lane.

"Now, what is it that you want to know?" asked Severus as they were following the path, which only had few houses on the other side.

"I don't even know where to start," Harry sighed, running a hand through his already shaggy hair. "So many things that happened that night still don't make sense to me."

"At the beginning?" Severus suggested, only mildly sarcastic. "It's usually a good starting point."

"But it all began at least a year before that night – when you overheard Sybil making the prophesy. Why were you even in the Hogshead that day?"

"To apply for the position of 'Defense against the Dark Arts' teacher, of course. The position had been jinxed by the Dark Lord in the mid 1960's, and Dumbledore needed to find a new teacher every year."

"But weren't you doing your mastery in Potions at the time? Why then DADA?"

"Because Slughorn was still teaching Potions – he only went into retirement a year later. The DADA job was going to be free by summer, and the Dark Lord wanted me in Hogwarts. Had I gotten the position, he would have removed the jinx on it."

"But you didn't get it..."

"No. Dumbledore suspected that I had taken the Dark Mark. He didn't want me anywhere near the castle after having ended up with the jinxed position when interviewing a certain Tom Riddle years earlier. That's why he suggested to do the job interview in the Hogshead."

"Why do the interview at all, if he already knew that he was not going to give you the job?"

Severus shrugged. "To keep up appearances. And to fish for information. Thanks to the fact that I knew how to shield my mind, he didn't get any. The interview was rather short. I chose to hang about a little longer when I learned that he was going to do another interview with Sybil Trelawny. If nothing else, I was going to inform the Dark Lord whether or not she got the job."

"But you were caught listening at the door..."

"I wasn't listening at the door!" Severus said indignantly. "Or rather, I hadn't intended to. I was just on my way to the loo and passed the room when I suddenly heard a strange voice starting to speak. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Unfortunately, Aberforth saw me standing in there. He's always been rather distrustful and immediately came rushing out. He confronted me vociferously and tried to drag me away from the door. He made such a ruckus that I didn't hear the second half of the prophesy. Then the door flew open and Dumbledore came out, and I saw Sybil, who looked rather confused. I was told rather rudely to take my leave."

"But then Dumbledore must have known that you overheard the prophesy..."

"He suspected it, but he couldn't be sure. Aberforth assured him that he caught me right away, and Aberforth himself hadn't heard a thing. Besides, what could he have done about it?"

"Legilimised and oblivated you?" Harry offered.

Severus stared at him with raised brows. "Dumbledore surely could be ruthless if need be, and he had indeed tried to use Legilimency to find out how much I had heard. But he found that I had rather strong shields, and to overcome them, it would have needed much more force – an outright attack, in fact, in front of several witnesses, no less. Apart from that, Oblivate is not an easy spell to cast on a strong-minded person who is willing and able to defend himself. No, Dumbledore could only trust Aberforth and hope that I hadn't heard anything crucial to pass on."

Harry didn't object, but was silently wondering if Dumbledore had known – and had decided to let things take their course. If the prophesy had never reached Voldemort, neither he nor his parents would have become a target, he'd never have become 'the Chosen One' and would never have been made a weapon. Then what? Would Voldemort have succeeded and ruled the wizarding word? Or would it all have happened anyway, just because it had been predicted? Was it all fate, or had there ever been a chance to stop the things from developing as they had? He decided not to even think about it.

"You told me that you saw my mother once, before I was born...", he resumed the conversation. "Was it after you overheard the Prophecy?"

Severus nodded, his face mirroring the painful memories that were surfacing. "Yes. It was in April, about two months later."

"Why did you seek her out? I know you hadn't spoken to her in years..."

Of course, the boy had to ask that. But Severus really didn't know how to answer that question. He truly had no idea what had driven him to Godric's Hollow that evening. Probably the fact that his life had reached an all-time-low at the time. Unable to remain in denial about the Dark Lord's true goals and his character any longer, he had been utterly disillusioned, even despaired. He had wanted out, to turn his back and leave it all behind. But no one turned his back on the Dark Lord.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking how right Lily had been about everything, and how he wished that he had listened to her warnings. His associating with purebloodideologists had cost him everything that had ever been good in his life, and for what? To serve a madman on his way to world domination in a flock of sycophants? He had never been a religious man, but the urge to confess, to ask forgiveness, to seek deliverance had become overwhelming and had driven him to Lily. He had needed to see a friendly face, had longed to hear a kind voice and to speak to someone who was sane. Of course, he hadn't dared to really carry through with it; had just been standing there outside their house in the rain. But for some reason, Lily had looked out the window and seen him. And had pulled him inside.

"It was because of the prophesy, wasn't it?" Harry ventured a guess, when Severus still hadn't replied. "You sought her out to warn her about the danger they were in..." Harry very much wanted to believe that Severus had realised his horrible mistake and had come to set it right – as right as in any way possible. But to his surprise, his godfather shook his head.

"No. I had no idea that the prophesy even referred to a child or that it had anything to do with her. I had no idea until then that Lily was pregnant."

"You didn't know that it was about an unborn child?" Harry's brows had risen sceptically.

"If I had suspected it, don't you think the idea that the Dark Lord might approach the problem in King Herod's style would have occurred to me?" Severus stiffly asked back. "Telling him the prophesy could have condemned countless newborns to certain death." Severus still felt guilty about many things, but Harry's assumption that he would have sanctioned the cold-blooded murder of innocent children stung.

Harry's frown deepened. " 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...'" he cited. "Who else could it refer to but to an unborn child?"

"I only overheard the first half of the prophesy!" Severus vehemently explained. "The phrasing is different: 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...' The word 'approaches' made neither me nor the Dark Lord think of a child waiting to be born. 'Born as the seventh month dies' could have referred to any living person whose birthday happened to be the end of July. The Dark Lord expected the danger to come from a young, but adult wizard, born to people who had defied him in the past. Unfortunately, there were quite a few potential candidates, and he set his Death Eaters on gathering information on all of them."

Severus paused before adding gravely: "That it might actually refer to a yet unborn child only occurred to me when I met your mother and found her expecting." He had felt an icy shiver run down his spine when he had heard Lily say that she and her husband had now thrice defied the Dark Lord in turning down his offers, and that she was starting to fear not only for their own lives, but also for that of her child, now that his birth date was approaching. The expressions used in context had made him realise what the prophesy could also mean. He had been almost relieved to hear her say that Alice Longbottom was pregnant, too, and expected to give birth at July's end, whereas Lily was due in early August.

"Oh! That explains it," said Harry, feeling relief. His godfather's cold indifference when passing on the prophesy had been hard to reconcile with the man he was just getting to know. With everything he had come to know about the man he had hated with such a vengeance all these years, with everything he'd seen in his memories, he had finally come to understand how his mother could have called him a friend. Yes, he could be mean, unfair and insulting, but fundamentally, Severus Snape was a decent person. "I know that you've not always done what is right... But you've never consciously done something so profoundly wrong, so morally reprehensible."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Like taking the Dark Mark and pledging loyalty to a narcissistic megalomaniac who was planning to take over the wizarding world?" he asked sarcastically.

"But it wasn't like that," Harry objected, taken aback by Severus' harsh reaction. "Voldemort wasn't as insane in the beginning as he was towards the end – I saw it in the memories Dumbledore showed me. Before he shredded his soul into pieces, he was a powerful, charismatic and over-ambitious wizard who had a real talent for knowing what made people tick, and who knew how to use that to his advantage."

"He certainly had a talent for spotting weaknesses and hidden desires and knowing how to exploit them best. But when I joined him, he had already murdered his entire family in cold blood, as well as Myrtle Warren, Hepzibah Smith and at least two other victims. He had already created five Horcruxes. He was hardly sane."

"Well, then why did you join him?" Harry challenged. "Did you know he was a murderer? I suppose he didn't go bragging about it... Did you know that with all this talk about Pureblood supremacy he actually meant the mass murdering of Muggleborns and their families? Did you realise he was a madman?"

No, of course Severus hadn't been aware of all that. It had been the zealots among the Dark Lord's followers who had voiced such things, never the Dark Lord himself. No matter what people thought about Purebloods – the majority of them did not condone the murder of innocent children, not even Muggleborns. They had just dreamed of a world where they wouldn't have to feel threatened by the breathtakingly fast evolving Muggle-world they could neither understand nor keep up with. They had wanted to set the rules for Muggleborns and force them into accepting and submitting to the old wizarding ways and traditions, not to wipe them out. They all had dreamed about being given the respect and the recognition they deserved, to live the lives they wanted without having to compromise or make concessions. For too long, Severus had kept his eyes shut, blissfully oblivious to the fact that some of them considered every means to accomplish their goals justified. When he had finally been unable to deny the truth any longer, he had been in too deep already.

"I'm not trying to justify that you joined their forces," Harry said, when Severus didn't answer. "But I know you didn't do it because you were indifferent about all those lives."

* * *


	2. The Spy and the Traitor

_A/N: As there was so much introduction text in the first chapter, I failed to thank my two awesome beta-readers, who have helped me immensely with this story. As with all my stories **Dreamthrower** looked over grammatical issues and helped to put this into legible English, while **Certhia** checked everything for logical consistency and corrected the German version. I should also mention **AlwaysSS** , a fellow writer. She and Certhia indulged me with lengthy discussions about plot holes, theories and psychological evaluations of the characters, and shared their views and ideas with me._

_Thank you very much, guys! It has been so much fun and I can't thank you enough for the wonderful work you have done!_

* * *

**The Spy and the Traitor**

They continued walking in silence for a while, taking a right turn when the lane branched out. They were now following an unpaved field path that circled the outskirts of the village. It was shaded by trees and lined by bushes, and would probably be idyllic in summer. Right now, with the cold, the wind, and the drizzle, it was a bit uncomfortable.

Harry renewed the Impervius-Spell on his jacket, and belatedly, cast it on his head, too. He was slightly envious of the Potion Master's long and thick coat with its high collar, and wistfully noted that he had obviously not forgotten to cast the water and mist repelling charm on himself, given that his hair was still bone-dry.

"Did you tell my parents of the prophesy when you realised it might refer to their unborn child?" Harry eventually picked up their conversation again.

"Yes, I did." He couldn't have not told her – on realising that he might unknowingly have put a death sentence on the child in her womb, he had blanched, and Lily had noticed his turmoil. "She deserved to know, just in case... But at that point, we both considered it mere speculation that prophecy was truly about you. Lily was concerned, but not alarmed. But she bade me help protect you, saying I owed her that much for passing on the prophesy." Severus had not gainsaid her, knowing that he was responsible for many events that had ultimately led to this situation. Had Lily demanded that he end his life to atone for his deeds, he would have done that, too. It hadn't held much worth for him at that point, anyway. Instead, Lily had given him purpose, a mission, meaning. Little did he know that it would eventually become his burden.

"So when did the Dark Lord realise that the prophesy was about a child?"

"Only when Peter Pettigrew turned traitor – which was about three months after you were born. By bitter irony, it was Lily herself who gave him the idea. Pettigrew had told the Dark Lord what Lily had mentioned to her friends: That she feared her child might become a target. It had puzzled him – what interest did he have in a baby? But then he learned that you were born end of July, and made the connection to the prophesy. The Dark Lord was elated after finally having solved that riddle."

"And yet he didn't strike right away, but waited almost another year..." said Harry, perplexed. "Why?"

"For various reasons. He had also learned from Pettigrew that Alice Longbottom had given birth to a boy a day before Lily, and he wasn't entirely sure which boy the prophesy referred to. I guess he was waiting for some kind of clue. He didn't feel rushed – he didn't consider either of you a threat at that point. A three month old baby with powers to vanquish the Dark Lord? Laughable! He was rather amused to find that the enemy he had feared for months turned out to be a mere baby."

"Yes, that doesn't surprise me. Despite what the prophesy said, he never considered me his 'equal', not even after his return." Harry thought back to that night at the graveyard in Little Hangleton, when the Dark Lord had been reborn into his new, physical form. It had been terrifying and gruesome, at least for him, but Voldemort's dramatic staging had obviously been meant to be as entertaining as intimidating – the crowning conclusion of a drama, the great final act. He had taunted him, made fun of him, had even made him participate in a mock duel ... a 14 year old boy only half-way through his schooling. No, he had not taken him seriously. But even so, by decree of fate, Harry had defied him yet again.

"Right after his return," Severus continued explaining, "the Dark Lord thought the prophesy had already been fulfilled. After all, you had 'vanquished the Dark Lord' for eleven long years – which he still considered an unfortunate accident. But when you escaped him again, at that graveyard, he started getting concerned. That's why he was so eager to learn the second half of the prophesy."

"But back then, when he heard about the prophecy, he wasn't overly concerned about what the first part predicted?"

"He only feared the effect it might have on his followers. It went against the image of invincibility he had worked so hard to establish. He told no one of it, concerned it might make him look fallible in his follower's eyes. He eventually wanted to do away with you personally and discreetly, when the opportunity presented itself. Besides, it was too risky to strike at you in your home. There were strong protections in place: wards, shielding spells and anti-apparitions barriers which made the house a fortress. He couldn't attack without alerting the entire Order and turning Godric's Hollow into a battle ground. The risk of losses was too high."

"He could've used Pettigrew as a hitman. Honestly, if he hadn't been so intent on doing the job himself, he could've killed me multiple times – and my parents, too."

"For the time being, the rat was more useful as a spy. The Dark Lord thought he had ample time to find out which boy the prophesy referred to and act accordingly. At least, that's what he told me when he gloatingly informed me that it was either about the Longbottom's boy – or Lily's son."

Severus still remembered the conversation as if it had been yesterday. For the first time ever, he had lied to the Dark Lord – fully aware that it would cost him his life if he was caught. He hadn't known how to occlude properly, back then – he could only rely on his strong shields and pray that the Dark Lord would not decide to test them again, like he had done before sending him to apply for the DADA position. To convincingly deceive, Severus had tried to stay as close to the truth as possible, event to the point of admitting that he wasn't entirely indifferent towards Lily. He had confessed that he still remembered her in his heart as his only childhood friend, the only one who had ever treated him decently – before he had found true loyalty among the Dark Lord's followers, that is. And he had called her the girl who had broken his heart.

'Do you want me to spare her life then, Severus?' the Dark Lord had asked. 'Or do you wish me to exact revenge for what she did to you?'

Severus had pretended to ponder the question before he had eventually asked him to spare her – if only for old times sake and to make her regret the mistake of choosing Potter over him. Dumbledore had later blamed him for only having asked for Lily's life – not that of her son or her husband. As if he could have given the Dark Lord a valid reason for wanting her husband or her son alive! As if the Dark Lord would have spared the child destined to vanquish him because Severus had asked him to! Admitting that he wanted Lily to live had been dangerous enough.

"So that's when you defected..." Harry assumed, who had seen the meeting with Dumbledore on a hillside in the Scottish mountains in his teacher's memories. "You feared he might strike despite his assurances – and that he wouldn't spare my mother for you..."

"I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't make a move. The Dark Lord protected all information carefully, and I wasn't privy to all of his plans. But I knew now that you had become a target and that there must be a traitor in the Order – someone close to your parents. I needed to warn the Order."

Of course, it had also meant that he had to confess to Dumbledore that he had overheard the prophesy and passed it on to the Dark Lord, and had thus endangered the life of the woman he had loved. But putting her safety into the hands of the powerful wizard – the only one the Dark Lord had ever feared – had seemed their best option. Severus had been sure that Dumbledore would keep Lily and her son safe, once he knew of the danger they were in. He had just not expected that he would stipulate conditions.

'And what will you give me in return, Severus?' Dumbledore had asked, implying that he wouldn't lift a finger for the Potters if Severus wasn't willing to pay the price for their protection. He hadn't taken this attempt at blackmail seriously – surely, the leader of the free wizarding world would do anything in his power to protect the members of his Order out of his own volition. What Dumbledore hadn't known at the time was the fact that Severus had already pledged to protect Lily and her son, if need be with his life. 'Anything', he had truthfully answered.

It had taken some time to win Dumbledore's trust. The old man had insisted he learn Occlumency – a necessity if one wanted to betray the supposedly greatest Legilimens of all times. But also an opportunity for Dumbledore to attack Severus' mind and force himself into his memories again and again in the process of teaching him. And he had seen it all – his feelings for Lily, his hatred for Potter, his remorse, his regret, his despair. He had eventually also discovered the pledge that Severus had made, and that he had secretly been made godfather of Lily's son.

Severus had made him swear that he would never reveal his secret to anybody, least of all to the child it concerned. He wished for no emotional bond with the boy, who was the flesh and blood of his much hated arch-rival just as much as he was Lily's son. He had sworn to protect him, but it was something he'd do for Lily, not for Dumbledore, not for James and not for Harry himself. He had accepted the task as his penance. There wouldn't be any further demands, expectations or obligations, as were sure to follow if the truth ever became known to Harry.

'My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore had asked, and he had felt resentment at the fact that he considered Severus' responsibility for Potter's brat to be the best of him. Later he had come to realise that the old man – without even understanding the half of it – had been right. Accepting this responsibility had probably been the only selfless deed he had ever committed to. A sacrifice, for sure. An expression of loyalty, an act of devotion.

"But... Dumbledore – he didn't do anything, did he?" Harry asked, derailing Severus from his quiet introspection with his own thoughts. He sounded bitter, accusing. "The Fidelius wasn't cast until about a year later."

Severus understood his resentment. He had felt the same way, had needed somebody – anybody, really – to put the blame on, if only to relieve the guilt he felt himself. But while there were many things Dumbledore was guilty of, he couldn't have done more than he had to protect Lily. Her fate had been sealed the moment Pettigrew turned traitor.

"At that point, the Fidelius would have offered little additional protection to the security measures Dumbledore did put in place," he said gently. "Your parent's house had already become a fortress. Dumbledore stopped sending them out on order business and made them lay low. From what I heard, your father in particular didn't like it. There were Death Eater attacks all over the country, and he wasn't doing much to help fighting. By the beginning of the new year, Dumbledore persuaded your parents to go into hiding."

"How so?" Harry asked, looking puzzled. "They never left Godric's Hollow."

"No, they did not – but it was made to appear as if they had. The order put the house under a Muggle repellent charm, making it look like it had been abandoned, and spread the rumour that Lily and James had moved away."

Harry frowned. "But a Muggle Repellant Charm wouldn't have fooled a wizard. What would that accomplish?"

"Oh, it does fool a wizard, too – as long as he doesn't come into contact with the charm. The Leaky Cauldron looks as if it's abandoned to wizards as well, until they actually enter it."

"Hogwarts doesn't look like a ruin to a wizard, not even from afar," Harry pointed out what seemed to confute the assertion.

"What people see depends on the parameters defined by of whatever spell is used. The weakest one is a simple Deflection-Charm, like the one on the Leaky Cauldron, which makes it look like an vacant pub. The idea to enter it, however, will never cross a Muggle's mind. A much stronger protection is the Unplottable spell, which is similar to the Fidelius – it moves what is to be hidden into a different dimension for Muggles and replaces it with an alternative reality. Therefore, the object that was moved can not appear on a map – it simply doesn't exist. It's the same charm that was put on the War Memorial, on Azkaban, on Platform 9 3/4, and on Hogwarts. An archaeologist, if he somehow overcame the Deflection Charm, might explore the ruins of the castle, but he wouldn't bump into invisible walls. For him, the intact castle simply wouldn't exist. Likewise, no one in Hogwarts would see a Muggle roaming the grounds.'"

"Oh, that makes sense! I never really understood how Unplottablility worked, though Hermione tried to explain it to me. So the lot was made Unplottable?"

"No. Unplottability is a complicated spell that requires a team of wizards. It has to be Ministry approved, and Dumbledore certainly didn't want the Ministry involved. A simple Deflection-Charm has basically the same effect. You only need Unplottability if the place can't appear on a map or if you need more than a mere illusion. Making the Leaky Cauldron Unplottable wouldn't work – after all, Muggle parents still have to be able to access it with their children. A mere Deflection charm however wouldn't work with the War Memorial. It is totally different in form and shape than the statue, and an illusion would not have fooled falling snow. A pile of snow hovering in mid-air would've certainly been a dead give-away for Muggles that something was wrong with it. With your parent's house, it was sufficient to just keep Muggles from trying to enter it. They saw the house vacated, and every notion to think or talk about it was immediately dispelled. The illusion affected wizards the same way – at least until they touched anything covered by the charm."

"So did it fool Voldemort?"

"It might have, if it hadn't been for his secret informant, who had told him that it was a ruse. It must have amused the Dark Lord that your parents were now living in a cage. They couldn't leave the house in normal fashion anymore, unless sneakily in the dead of the night, and they couldn't apparate from inside the magical boundaries due to the Anti-Apparition wards. They could only leave via Floo network, but even that was risky, as the Dark Lord had supporters in the ministry and there was suspicion that some ministry workers were under the Imperius."

Severus had wondered what Dumbledore had hoped to accomplish with placing the illusion on the house and make it seem abandoned. It had only served to restrict the Potter's movement. But maybe that had been Dumbledore's intention. Maybe James had been reckless before, leaving the house when he shouldn't – just like at Hogwarts, so many years ago. It wouldn't have surprised him. By placing the charm, Dumbledore had certainly tied him down nicely.

"That's what my mum told to Sirius in a letter," mused Harry, who obviously had similar thoughts. "That my father was starting to get restless not being able to leave the house... Dumbledore had also borrowed his invisibility cloak."

"I'm sure the Dark Lord found this news quite entertaining. Fear alone kept your parents under control – they couldn't do anything to support the Order's fight against him. They were like sitting ducks, feeling safe while he was calmly taking his aim. And all the while, Dumbledore was trying to find the leak."

"You still didn't have any idea who the traitor was?"

"No. The Dark Lord was very careful about the information he shared – much like Dumbledore. He had hoped that isolating your parents would narrow the suspects down. But apparently, all it did was foster distrust among the Order. They lost the McKinnons, the Boneses and the Prewetts in the following summer due to inside information. That's what made Dumbledore suggest the use of the Fidelius charm on your parents' house. Not because he wanted to secure it against an outside attack – it was already protected against that – but to lock out the traitor."

"What a cruel twist of fate that they made the very person their Secret-Keeper the Fidelus charm was supposed to protect them from..." Harry said bitterly, and Severus could only tacitly agree. There was a lot of bitter irony in the events that finally led to the Potters' murder. So much in fact that he was inclined to believe in fate.

"Thanks to the Fidelius and thanks to the traitor who had given him the key, the Dark Lord could now walk into the house unhindered any time he wanted. All the other protections that were in place to keep intruders out didn't work for those who knew the secret." The Dark Lord must have laughed his head off when the rat told him that he was the one in whose hands the Potters had entrusted their safety. The opportunity was too great to let it pass. "The fact that the Dark Lord chose to strike on Halloween was no coincidence. He always believed that all magic was more powerful on that particular date."

Harry and Severus reached another crossroad and turned towards the town centre again. The lane they were on was paved now, but obviously not highly trafficked. There were many cracks and holes in which grass had started to grow. When they came around a curve, Severus felt a tightening in his chest. He knew this street. The Potters' house would be just around the next bend, the first in the row. Or the last, if one approached it coming from the village. Was it coincidence that their feet had taken them this way? Or had Harry led him here on purpose?

But no, Harry clearly was surprised when the house came into view. He audibly sucked in his breath and stiffened. "I didn't know it was this way," he said, stopping dead in his tracks. "We came from the other side... last year." He pointed down the lane. "There's Bathilda Bagshot's house over there, about five houses down the lane, on the opposite side."

"Where Nagini was lying in wait for you..." Severus murmured, remembering what Hermione had told him about her nightmares. "The Dark Lord knew you wold seek her out sooner or later when Skeeter published that book about Dumbledore. It's a miracle that you got away again alive."

"It was a narrow escape. Trying to get away from the snake, we jumped out of a window and Hermione apparated us away in mid-flight... I wasn't even fully conscious at the time."

"She apparated both of you mid-flight?" asked Severus incredulously. An impressive feat. Not many wizards or witches were able pull it off. He didn't even know a handful. One needed a very clear mind and immense powers of concentration to get the focus right. To do so while under attack – and to side-along another person at that... incredible. She was one frightening witch.

"I had no wand and Voldemort was approaching," remembered Harry, shuddering. "If she hadn't managed to do so, we would have been killed for sure." He recalled the vision he had had right the moment they had jumped... of Voldemort standing at this very gate and looking through these very windows. They were clouded or cracked now, but there had been light inside, back then, and Harry had seen his father and mother through Voldemort's eyes. Standing in front of the house now brought it all up again. He was immensely grateful for his godfather's presence, though he certainly wouldn't tell him so.

They stood watching from a distance, as if unsure whether to approach the house or not. Severus assumed that a stronger Muggle Repellant Charm must have been re-cast on the house at some point after the attack. It looked in worse shape than it actually ought to be. The whole upper floor was a heap of ruins, the roof practically gone. There was no reason for this level of destruction.

Severus resumed walking towards the house, and hesitantly, Harry followed. It was obviously and understandably difficult for him, but he had been the one to suggest this trip in to face their past. Merlin knew why. This place really held no positive memories for either of them. To Severus, it spoke of despair, loss, fear and disaster.

As soon as Harry touched the gate, the Muggle Repellent Charm lifted and the house transformed from that of a ruin to a basically intact building. The only damage was on the right side of the upper floor, where the backlash of the curse had made the outer wall collapse. A sign with an inscription became visible, informing wizards about whose house this had been and what had happened here. Harry had seen it before, the night he had stood here with Hermione. But they hadn't entered the house at the time.

Resolutely, Harry pushed the gate open and walked through. He wanted to see how his parents had lived – and how they had died.

* * *

_A/N: Are you still with me? I realise that this is a bit experimental as far as the storyline goes... meaning there isn't really one. :) I guess I could've put my theories into an essay, but this conversation is going to take place in the Christmas story anyway, so I figured I might as well write it. Before you send me flames that it's boring and lacking in action, please keep in mind that the intent is to answer questions and fill plot holes. We'll be getting to the events of the Halloween night in the next chapter._

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a list of all those questions and plot-holes that I just couldn't stop wondering about, and which will be answered in this story:
> 
> \- How could Severus Snape be so callous as to pass on the Prophesy when it put a death sentence on an innocent child?
> 
> \- Why did the Dark Lord wait over a year and a half before making his move on the Potters?
> 
> \- When and how did the Potters go into hiding?
> 
> \- Why was the Fidelius cast only so late, and why did Voldemort strike right after?
> 
> \- How did anyone know what had happened to the Potters as soon as it happened?
> 
> \- How is it possible that Dumbledore did not go there himself to investigate? Or did he?
> 
> \- How did Dumbledore know immediately that Harry needed to live with the Dursleys?
> 
> \- When did Dumbledore cast the spell on baby Harry that was necessary to form the 'Bond of Blood'?
> 
> \- How was Hagrid able to reach Godrics Hollow so fast, given that he couldn't apparate there?
> 
> \- Why and when did the Fidelius charm on the house fail so that Hagrid was able to enter the house?
> 
> \- How does the Fidelius work at all, and what exactly is 'Unplottability"?
> 
> \- Where was Harry in between being picked up by Hagrid and arriving at Privet Drive?
> 
> \- Since when did Dumbledore know about the Horcruxes?
> 
> \- Why would anyone believe that Sirius betrayed his best friend?
> 
> \- Why did Remus and Sirius suspected each other?
> 
> \- How was Sirius able to find Peter after his treason?
> 
> \- What happened to Voldemort's wand and body?
> 
> \- Why did Voldemort spend 12 years sulking in Albania, waiting for someone to find him there?
> 
> \- How could Peter and Quirrell have known to look for him in a remote forest in Albania in the first place?
> 
> \- How did Pettigrew manage to bring Voldemort his wand?
> 
> \- Why should Severus be the one to tell Harry about Voldemort's soul part in his scar?
> 
> \- How could Dumbledore fail to notice that his DADA Professor was possessed by Voldemort in Harry's first year?
> 
> \- Why did he move the Stone from Gringotts to Hogwarts and protected it so poorly?


End file.
